dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
