the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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