Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
