and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
