dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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