Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
