6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
