C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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