i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize