he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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