i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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