My hand turned me down
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
