shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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