I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
