Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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