I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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