from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
