she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I would ride that face into the sunset
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
