There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
