i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
