idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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