That's intense
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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