we have pet lesbian snakes
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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