If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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