I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.