ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.