the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.