I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts