Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
