naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize