And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
