I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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