i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
