So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
