Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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