you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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