please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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