yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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