i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
