It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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