At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
