Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
A bitchslap is in order.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
