HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
