no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
