If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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