I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
