Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
