it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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