I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
