Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
