I am full of burrito and curiosity
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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