how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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