Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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