I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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