Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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