I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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