Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
