I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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