I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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