I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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