My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
