my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
